Drink like a Grandmaster

I know the question on everyone's lips is, does beer really work? Take a look at this below...
You see its your duty, no, your heritage and culture to uphold and pass on to the next generation.

Now, as one who has played well over half of his competitive games 'under the influence' I feel I'm in a position of authority and I have the knowledge which only years of abuse 'err' experience can bring.

What are the pro's and con's?

Pro's

  1. No fear,

  2. Lets the imagination run wild,

  3. Exercises the arms,

  4. Increases playing strength by 20 grading points,

  5. Leaves you with really fresh breath,

  6. You are more attractive to the opposite sex.

     

Con's

  1. Lack of concentration,

  2. Decreases playing strength by 10 points a pint,

  3. Lose on time due to toilet breaks,

  4. Makes driving home fairly difficult!

Some of my best results were gained with beer by my side, (and spilt down my front), but its hardly what you would call a 'performance enhancing drug' indeed, for the vast majority of us its a complete 'no-brainer'. Alcohol affects us in many different ways, the loss of inhibitions, coordination, common sense, the ability to speak fluently etc.

A favourite tipple of mine for many years was Newcastle Brown Ale an 'infamous' brew, whose effects can be summed up in a saying of mine which goes, "it makes you climb walls!"

The position is hopeless, you're a Queen down, you notice the pint of beery goodness perched precariously at the side of the table, you use it to your advantage with a well timed knee lift sending the pint all over the board, and ruining the game, just another advantage of beer!

What other advantages can beer offer?

On occasion I've found that, after taking a huge swig of the amber nectar the resultant burp can be covertly directed in your opponent's face with desirable results. I'm sure many smokers use this 'technique' its hard to say which is worse, ashtray breath or beer burp, perhaps a poll is needed...yes.

In the event of my opponent using extreme forms of skulduggery...

1. I would prefer Beer burp.
2. I would prefer Astray breath.

Answers to peterleechessclub@fsmail.net